Hi. My name is Desiree' and I'm a Christian, wife, mom, and homemaker. I used to do a little side job called teaching full-time, but that gave way to my family life. My family - the most important people in the world.
My two really active children have a wonderfully involved father who is always present in our lives, always helps when we call, and is generally two steps ahead of us anyway, so we don't have to call for help very often. This year marked our 7th anniversary. We didn't celebrate it. In fact, we barely remembered to say, "happy anniversary," to each other that morning, but we really don't need to. I don't think I've ever really moved past that newlywed feel when I think about him. (Not sure he'd agree, or say the same about me.) But we do know that as these "few" years have passed, we agree that we only grow more and more fond of each other.
J and I (and the kids) recently attended the wedding back home. This brought me into the realm of some of my oldest friends, and new friends, who I just happen to know my whole life, and old but good acquaintances. I'm getting off topic here, but one thing is for sure, Time changes the landscape of everyone it touches, for the better, including me. It may be cliché, but I do wish I knew then, what I know now. I know I would have spent more time with friends, made new ones, and not let other people's opinions affect how I felt about myself. I would have been more sure of myself, less sure of others, and never moved so far from home as I did when I graduated high school. I guess this leads me into why I feel I can offer advice when asked, and sometimes when not (sorry).
At this wedding, we were asked to share some advice with the bride and groom. Unfortunately we were limited to a single brightly colored, blank (but double-sided), 3x5 index card. What in the world could I say that would help them through the muck and mire they are about to conquer together?
I say muck and mire, but not in the sense that they will be that to each other, only that Life is messy. It can be unimaginably hard, unbearably sad, and truly terrifying. They will feel scared, abandoned, neglected, ignored, doubted, undependable, and unimportant. At times they may even doubt they are making the right choices and lose trust in the Lord, in each other, or in their loved ones.
We all feel the sword of pain. I also know those trials will not come without their counterparts. Life is unexpected, surprising, hopeful, carefree, joyous, and unimaginably beautiful. They will feel cherished, loved, praised, respected, trusted, supported, sought-after, beautiful, handsome, and wise, and be forgiven, repeatedly. Most of the time they will know that as long as they make decisions together, they will be making the right decisions. They will trust their partner, worship their Lord, and hopefully, one day, they will finally REALLY understand how much their parents love them as they gaze into the eyes of their child. They will lie next to their spouse while they sleep and pray that they will always be there, and they won't be able to imagine lying in the bed alone ever again. (They will almost certainly start shopping for a King size bed, if the room allows. Ours doesn't.) They will realize that whatever Life brings to their doorstep, they have the one person in the world who will open the door and stand by their side, arm in arm, to take on whatever is waiting outside, good or bad.
Life is unpredictable. There is no advice that can prepare you to experience it, but you'll experience it together. You'll experience it in different ways, most certainly, but you'll be together.
On the inside of my husband's ring it says, "All my Love," but it also says, "God and Us" because that's the way we roll. Before it was God and me, God and J. Now it's God and Us and it always will be, no matter what.
My advice to the couple was to, "Always say, 'I love you.' before parting ways." No matter how J and I feel, we always try to say I love you when we part, because we do. Besides, it's a good reminder as to what really matters as we walk away grumbling in our heads. Those were also the fewest words I could think of (with a screaming child on my hip) to put on paper before we departed for our nearly 2 hr car ride home at 9:30pm. Those were the fewest words that are needed to understand everything about Life as I've come to know it...
I was mistaken. There is something else shorter I could have written: "1 Corinthians 13". That would have been perfect. It's a good reminder for me too, especially when I am tempted to let my emotions get the best of me.
My two really active children have a wonderfully involved father who is always present in our lives, always helps when we call, and is generally two steps ahead of us anyway, so we don't have to call for help very often. This year marked our 7th anniversary. We didn't celebrate it. In fact, we barely remembered to say, "happy anniversary," to each other that morning, but we really don't need to. I don't think I've ever really moved past that newlywed feel when I think about him. (Not sure he'd agree, or say the same about me.) But we do know that as these "few" years have passed, we agree that we only grow more and more fond of each other.
J and I (and the kids) recently attended the wedding back home. This brought me into the realm of some of my oldest friends, and new friends, who I just happen to know my whole life, and old but good acquaintances. I'm getting off topic here, but one thing is for sure, Time changes the landscape of everyone it touches, for the better, including me. It may be cliché, but I do wish I knew then, what I know now. I know I would have spent more time with friends, made new ones, and not let other people's opinions affect how I felt about myself. I would have been more sure of myself, less sure of others, and never moved so far from home as I did when I graduated high school. I guess this leads me into why I feel I can offer advice when asked, and sometimes when not (sorry).
At this wedding, we were asked to share some advice with the bride and groom. Unfortunately we were limited to a single brightly colored, blank (but double-sided), 3x5 index card. What in the world could I say that would help them through the muck and mire they are about to conquer together?
I say muck and mire, but not in the sense that they will be that to each other, only that Life is messy. It can be unimaginably hard, unbearably sad, and truly terrifying. They will feel scared, abandoned, neglected, ignored, doubted, undependable, and unimportant. At times they may even doubt they are making the right choices and lose trust in the Lord, in each other, or in their loved ones.
We all feel the sword of pain. I also know those trials will not come without their counterparts. Life is unexpected, surprising, hopeful, carefree, joyous, and unimaginably beautiful. They will feel cherished, loved, praised, respected, trusted, supported, sought-after, beautiful, handsome, and wise, and be forgiven, repeatedly. Most of the time they will know that as long as they make decisions together, they will be making the right decisions. They will trust their partner, worship their Lord, and hopefully, one day, they will finally REALLY understand how much their parents love them as they gaze into the eyes of their child. They will lie next to their spouse while they sleep and pray that they will always be there, and they won't be able to imagine lying in the bed alone ever again. (They will almost certainly start shopping for a King size bed, if the room allows. Ours doesn't.) They will realize that whatever Life brings to their doorstep, they have the one person in the world who will open the door and stand by their side, arm in arm, to take on whatever is waiting outside, good or bad.
Life is unpredictable. There is no advice that can prepare you to experience it, but you'll experience it together. You'll experience it in different ways, most certainly, but you'll be together.
On the inside of my husband's ring it says, "All my Love," but it also says, "God and Us" because that's the way we roll. Before it was God and me, God and J. Now it's God and Us and it always will be, no matter what.
My advice to the couple was to, "Always say, 'I love you.' before parting ways." No matter how J and I feel, we always try to say I love you when we part, because we do. Besides, it's a good reminder as to what really matters as we walk away grumbling in our heads. Those were also the fewest words I could think of (with a screaming child on my hip) to put on paper before we departed for our nearly 2 hr car ride home at 9:30pm. Those were the fewest words that are needed to understand everything about Life as I've come to know it...
I was mistaken. There is something else shorter I could have written: "1 Corinthians 13". That would have been perfect. It's a good reminder for me too, especially when I am tempted to let my emotions get the best of me.
13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 LOVE is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part,10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
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