9pm...
My students and I read a short story yesterday, and reviewed it today, called "Fifteen Minutes." In this story, a child is making a decision about which toothbrush he wants to claim as his own, the new red one, or the new green one. Pat's mother has purchased 2 toothbrushes for two kids, Pat and Violet. Because Pat's mom has done the purchasing, he is allowed to choose. However, he is continuously doubting the intentions of the comments made by his friend, Violet. She attempts to prove that the green toothbrush as the less desirable of the two colors (joking that it's covered in fly eggs) when honestly, she doesn't care. She's just happy to be getting a new tooth brush. All the while, and to the very end, Pat felt that Violet was attempting to trick him.
I feel like Pat tonight. I feel like Satan is wanting me to make the wrong decision for my family and my faith. The only problem is, I don't know what the wrong decision is! Praying about it brings me peace, but I'm afraid to trust that feeling. Should we dedicate the next year to saving money so that I can stay home to care for my kids the following year? Or should we grab the bull by the horns and stay home with the kids this upcoming school year, even though it will be as tight as ever? If I go to work, I'll have money to spend on things I want! If I stay home, I might have money to spend on things I need. If I work, they will be with their friends every day, and so will I. If I stay home, they will build a stronger bond with me and I with them. If I work, they can watch their friends meeting their developmental milestones, and maybe meet their own ones faster. If I stay home, I can see them meet their developmental milestones and soak up every second of it!
Dear Father please help! I've never taken such a great leap of faith before in my life, and dear friends, it's hard to do. It's scary. I'm not sure I can do it. I don't want to be the cause of strife among the clan. If things go bad, I can always get a job again. If things are good, then praise be to Christ, because if they're good, it's only because he's blessed us even more.
With these thoughts I think I've made my decision, but this is a decision I make with 1 other and Christ... so after consulting with them, I'll let you know.
Later..... The 3am-kind-of-later.....
So I thought we had decided. I thought I had decided. But now I'm worried that I'm being foolish and impractical. Giving up my dream job... Position, people, students... For the chance to be home, living paycheck to paycheck when there are others out there who would kill to have work... Crazy. 7am comes too soon. Still undecided. But the Head of the House is in the boat right here with me, supporting any decision I make... And THAT is a great feeling.
3:45am...
They're only little once.
My students and I read a short story yesterday, and reviewed it today, called "Fifteen Minutes." In this story, a child is making a decision about which toothbrush he wants to claim as his own, the new red one, or the new green one. Pat's mother has purchased 2 toothbrushes for two kids, Pat and Violet. Because Pat's mom has done the purchasing, he is allowed to choose. However, he is continuously doubting the intentions of the comments made by his friend, Violet. She attempts to prove that the green toothbrush as the less desirable of the two colors (joking that it's covered in fly eggs) when honestly, she doesn't care. She's just happy to be getting a new tooth brush. All the while, and to the very end, Pat felt that Violet was attempting to trick him.
I feel like Pat tonight. I feel like Satan is wanting me to make the wrong decision for my family and my faith. The only problem is, I don't know what the wrong decision is! Praying about it brings me peace, but I'm afraid to trust that feeling. Should we dedicate the next year to saving money so that I can stay home to care for my kids the following year? Or should we grab the bull by the horns and stay home with the kids this upcoming school year, even though it will be as tight as ever? If I go to work, I'll have money to spend on things I want! If I stay home, I might have money to spend on things I need. If I work, they will be with their friends every day, and so will I. If I stay home, they will build a stronger bond with me and I with them. If I work, they can watch their friends meeting their developmental milestones, and maybe meet their own ones faster. If I stay home, I can see them meet their developmental milestones and soak up every second of it!
Dear Father please help! I've never taken such a great leap of faith before in my life, and dear friends, it's hard to do. It's scary. I'm not sure I can do it. I don't want to be the cause of strife among the clan. If things go bad, I can always get a job again. If things are good, then praise be to Christ, because if they're good, it's only because he's blessed us even more.
With these thoughts I think I've made my decision, but this is a decision I make with 1 other and Christ... so after consulting with them, I'll let you know.
Later..... The 3am-kind-of-later.....
So I thought we had decided. I thought I had decided. But now I'm worried that I'm being foolish and impractical. Giving up my dream job... Position, people, students... For the chance to be home, living paycheck to paycheck when there are others out there who would kill to have work... Crazy. 7am comes too soon. Still undecided. But the Head of the House is in the boat right here with me, supporting any decision I make... And THAT is a great feeling.
3:45am...
They're only little once.
1 comment:
Now that your decision is made I will interject and agree, they are only little once. Rachel
Post a Comment